Encouraging moms to savor the beauty of home & life in Christ

New Season of Waiting

Christin Slade Avatar

Yesterday morning, I was greeted with an email regarding our adoption. My heart leapt when I first saw it. I didn’t hesitate to open it, heart pounding so hard I could barely hear anything else.

It was not good news. It wasn’t hopeless news. But it was more waiting news. Lots more waiting. It was also confusing. Not that I didn’t understand what the circumstances were, but that I didn’t understand how we ended up there.

And then I got another email. The news was a blow, knocking the wind out of me, and it leaves everything very uncertain. There are so many things I cannot see and so many things we have HAD to trust God with.

This new season of waiting is no different. Many things are out of our control. There’s nothing we can do but trust God to do the work on our behalf. And really, isn’t that a good place to be? The best place?

And every time I try to go to a place where I want to let go and be at peace with the reality that they may NOT come home, I’m very unsettled about it. All I can think of is what will happen to them if they don’t have this opportunity. They will end up on the streets once they age out. No family. No support. No opportunity to be raised by a family who loves them and lives the Gospel with them.

That doesn’t seem like a place I could see God taking this. But I’m not God. And sometimes I wonder if all my notions and beliefs are false. Not my believing in God, but believing what I thought I knew of Him. But to me, that road would not be consistent with His character of the Bible. But is that reality for Him? Or is it my own wishful thinking? His redemption goes deeper than I could ever imagine.

And maybe? Maybe this process is a cleansing for me, too?

People keep bringing me back to the promise of Abraham. Even when God’s promise seemed laughable, He showed up. He fulfilled it.

God’s hand has been in this from the beginning. Why would I think it would just crumble beneath us? Why would He ask us to do this if He wasn’t go to see it through to completion – not just their homecoming, but beyond that?

This week I was brought to a place of greater peace with where we were and now this new season of waiting has become raw once again.

But isn’t that it? God stretched me in that last season. He stretched me, He sustained me, He strengthened me. Did He decide I was ready for the next season of waiting?

And do I want to walk down this road the same way I did last time?

Did the anxiety help me or my adoption move forward? Did it help me learn to trust God more? And who is this really about anyways?

I’m tempted to remove myself emotionally because it’s just so hard. The unknown and uncertainties are hard. And maybe that’s just it? Maybe I’m holding this adoption up to high?

The process is foggy, but when I choose to see, I can see God leading the way. And I can turn around and see how far He’s already brought us. God will only show me what I need to see. It’s how my faith is tested and stretched. Will I follow Him when I cannot see?

Would God truly lead us to a dead end? That’s not the God I know — but do I know the right God? Or have I created a god whom I want to see rather than the One who Is?

This new season of waiting is different. It carries more uncertainty then our entire process has thus far.

Will our girls even make it home?

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Christin Slade Avatar
  1. Stephanie Kay Avatar

    So very sorry that you are having to walk this path of uncertainty. Praying that God moves and that you have peace as he does so!

  2. Barbie Avatar

    Praying for you right now!

  3. Theresa Avatar

    ((Christin)) I am praying for your family. May these words that have been a balm to my waiting (for healing) be so to your heart and season of waiting also. Much love, my friend.
    “Trust in the LORD and do good: So shalt though dwell in the land and verily though shalt be fed. Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass. And he shall bring forth thy righteousness as the light, and they judgment as the noonday. Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for him: fret not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way, because of the man who bringeth wicked devices to pass. Cease from anger, and forsake wrath: fret not thyself in any wise to do evil. For evildoers shall be cut off, but those that wait upon the LORD they shall inherit the earth. For yet a little while, and the wicked shall not be: yea, thou shalt diligently consider his place and it shall not be. But the meek shall inherit the earth; and shall delight themselves in the abundance of peace.” Psalm 37:3-11

  4. Sarah Avatar

    Christin, I’m so sorry you are suffering under the endless waiting and uncertainty right now. I have endured a similar period of waiting , disappointment, and uncertainty these past few months. I prayed for God to give me peace, no matter the outcome.
    Here are the Scriptures that sustained me. Proverbs 3:5-6. 5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

    You don’t have to understand everything that’s going on and things are likely out of your control. Trust in Him and don’t agonize over how you might be able to fix things or how it could have been different.

    Romans 8:28 28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

    ALL these things are working for your good, even when the situation seems desperate. God has a plan for you and your children as well. He loves each of them even more than you do and He will take care of them, no matter where they are.

    Praying you find comfort and peace as you continue to wait.

  5. Cynthia Avatar

    Ugh. Welcome to the world of international adoptions…praying!!

  6. A Mama's Story Avatar

    I’m so sorry that you’re still in the waiting part. 🙁 When we were adopting internationally, our social worker told us up front that it would be like a moving target. It was such an emotional roller coaster. Will continue to keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

  7. Hope Does Not Disappoint - Joyful Mothering Avatar

    […] It has been quite a while since I’ve shared any kind of update on my blog regarding our adoption. In fact, the last post I wrote was back in November, when we first learned we were beginning a new season of waiting. […]

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